'My Wife' Jokes

1. Making the Marriage Last

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

2. Anniversary Celebrations

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

3. Shopping

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator. All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

4. Driving

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

5. Mechanical Minded

My wife told me the car wasn't running well; there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the swimming pool.